About ten days ago, after working out, i ran into Ponciano, an indio from the hinterlands of Oaxaca. Like most of his genotype, Ponciano is short and wiry. But ten days ago, he was definitely beefed up.
Oye, te estas poniendo grande.
Cree?
P’usi. Se nota.
Minoacido, he said.
Que?
Minoacido
I was slow, so he pulled out a tub of powder.
Ah....
About a year ago, i did some research on creatine. The Miracle Muscle Substance guaranteed.... I came to the conclusion that the game wasn’t worth the candle. I wasn’t young enough and wasn’t working-out hard enough.
So with some sense of skepticism i duly research minoacidos and, in particular, the Pre & Post - RAPID DRIVE 5000 BCAA GNC tub that Ponciano had showed me.
To make a long, and actually complex, story short: protein is used to build muscle and amino acids — in particular the three branch-chained amino acids (leusine, isuleucine and valine) — are used to metabolize protein into your muscles. There didn’t seem to be any doubt about that.
But when I read,
“BCAA 5000 features our most advanced RapidDrive Amino Acid Technology. These Branched Chain Amino Acids (BCAA) have been pulverized, or "micronized," from large molecules into smaller particles that are easier to absorb and deliver fast fuel for powerful performance,"
I smelled a huckster. You can’t pulverize a “molecule” into smaller particles without an atom smasher.
Ah well....
But a couple of days later, while buying nuts at Trader Joes, i espied on the lower vitamin shelf a very large tub of MET RX PROTEIN PLUS. — 46G’s per 2 scoops. Moreover, it not only had hefty amounts of the BCAA’s but a full complement of both “essential” and “useless” amino acids.
All for the low TJ price of $24.00
Gee.... I am so cheap it’s embarrassing.
I took the tub to service counter and asked, “If i decide i don’t want it, can i bring it back?”
“You can bring it back even if you try it and decide you don’t like it.”
(This is why people love Trader Joes)
I had actually intended to do more “research” and “chatting up” but with a guarantee like that i threw caution to the wind...
On Sunday, i took my first scoop at home about two hours before my work out. Gawd the stuff was awful. It was like drinking Elmer’s Glue-All; and, since both are made from milk it might as well have been Elmer’s Glue-All
Maybe it was the power of suggestion; but i had a surprisingly good work out.
When it was over, in best gym-rat fashion i ever so nonchalantly filled up and violently shook my flask of protein mix before swallowing it in five grimacing gulps.
Some young-un walked by and said “tastes awful doesn’t it.”
“Yurp”
“I mix mine with strawberries or juice...”
“Yeah well, i’ll have to do something...”
At home i noticed a jar of powder cocoa. Solution at hand.
In the ensuing days, other rats pronounced on such arcana as the benefits of eating a banana first thing in the morning and that you have to consume as many grams of protein as your body weight. As we were discussing this, another rat walked into the locker room and as he opened his locker said, “Actually body building has nothing to do with exercise; it’s a race to see who can eat more chicken.”
I took all this into due account and after calculating the amount of protein in 100 grams of meat (it’s 24-28 grams per 100 grams or 25% for fish, chicken or beef), decided that i really did not need more that two scoops per day.
The total would still be way under my body weight but it would also be way more protein than i have been ingesting. In fact, i came to the sorry conclusion that i was probably PROTEIN DEFICIENT and therefore “at risk” of loosing my hair.
So... i’ve been scooping all week... and i must say, incredible as it may seem, i AM visibly bulking up.. and by that i mean in my shoulders and arms ... not on my belly.
Oh if i hadn’t been so cheap when i was young.
Sigh.
Nicki by the way doesn’t need any of this... He’s a total muscle doggie just from running up and down hills and swimming and eating garbage.
